Eight Facts About UNC Folks!

What did the UNC fan say when 
he opened the box of Cheerios? 
Oh look, ...Doughnut seeds.
~~
Why did the UNC student stare 
at the can of frozen orange juice? 
Because it said concentrate.
~~
Why can't UNC students dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!
~~
Why shouldn't UNC profs have coffee 
breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.



Why does it take longer to build 
a UNC snowman as opposed to 
a regular one? You have to hollow 
out the head.
~~
How do you get a twinkle in a UNC
student's eye? Shine a flashlight in 
her ear.
~~
Hear about the UNC prof that got an
AM radio? It took him a month to
realize he could play it at night.
~~
What did the UNC student say when
she saw the sign in front of the 
YMCA? "Look! They spelled MACY'S 
wrong!"

Google: T3H7P12H

UNC First Aid Class!

The freshman class was being given a course in first aid.

The question was asked, "What would you do if during the summer you had a younger sibling swallow a house key?"

After a pause, one of the students answered,
"Easy! I'd climb through the window!"

Google: T3H7P12H

Mom Help!

A UNC Freshman came home with five job applications for a summer job. She carefully filled them out, and later asked her mother to look them over.

All the answers were clear and concise and she noticed that on all five applications, under "Previous Employment", she had listed "Baby-sitting".

But then she read, under "Reason for Leaving" her daughter had answered, "Parents came home."

UNC Deer Hunting!

Two UNC grads went hunting 
& were dragging their dead 
deer back to their car. Another 
hunter approached pulling his 
along too.

"Hey, I don't want to tell you 
how to do something... but 
I can tell you that it's much 
easier if you drag the deer 
in the other direction. Then 
the antlers won't dig into 
the ground."

After the third hunter left, 
the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter 
said to the other, "You know, 
that guy was right. This is 
a lot easier!"

"Yeah," the other added, 
"but we're getting farther
away from the truck...."

Another UNC Prof!

A UNC professor is driving along 
the road when he sees a sign on a 
plot of land that reads "40 acres for 
sale" and lists a phone number and 
in big bold letters the words "WILL 
DIVIDE". The prof has been considering 
buying a bit of land for investment 
purposes. He calls the number and 
when a lady picks up, he asks her, 
"Is Mr. Divide in?"

Mi Parte Posteriora Del Dinero!

           UNC

A UNC student buys a ticket 
and wins the lottery. He goes
to Raleigh to claim it and the 
man verifies his ticket number.
The UNC student says, "I want 
my $20 million."

The man replied, "No, sir. It 
doesn't work that way. We
give you a million today and 
then you'll get the rest spread
out for the next 19 years."

The UNC student said, "Oh, 
no. I want all my money right 
now! I won it and I want it."

Again, the man explain that 
he would only get a million
that day and the rest during 
the next 19 years.

The UNC student, furious 
with the man, screams out,
"Look, I want my money! If 
you're not going to give me 
my $20 million right now, 
then I want my dollar back!"

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or #ProfHowdy

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New Maid!

As the woman was instructing 
the new maid - who was a recent 
UNC grad - on the great care 
required in handling certain 
valuable household objects.

 She pointed to the dining
room and said with great 
satisfaction, "That table 
goes back to Louis the 
Fourteenth."

"Oh, that's nothing," 
the maid interjected. 
"My whole living-
room set goes back 
to Sears the fifteenth."

Google: T3H7P12H

or #ProfHowdy

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***Tell Your Friends! ♥♥♥

Be sure & tell your Friends 
about Professor Howdy, 'Thought 
& Humor' and his Corny UNC 
Humor, Cartoons, Riddles, Beautiful 
Music Videos & Much More! 
They'll love you for it! Just send
them our links:   


Humor Blog: T3H7P12H.Blogspot.Com
Funny Videos: Professors-Funny-Videos.Blogspot.Com
Classic Music Videos: Very-Relaxing.Blogspot.Com
Christmas Music: Very-Relaxing.Blogspot.Com
#ProfHowdy

**Recent UNC Inventions**

Black Highlighter

Braille Driver's Manual

Clear Correction Fluid

Fake Rhinestones

Google: T3H7P12H

or #ProfHowdy

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UNC Dentist Visit!

A UNC student walks into 
a dentist's surgery and says,
"Excuse me, can you help me. 
I think I'm a moth."

"You don't need a dentist. 
 You need a psychiatrist."

"Yes, I know."

"So, why did you come in here?"

"The light was on."

Google: T3H7P12H

or #ProfHowdy

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In His Field!

A man is driving down a country road, 
when he spots a UNC* grad who is a 
farmer standing in the middle of a 
huge field of grass. He pulls the car 
over to the side of the road and notices
that the grad is just standing there, 
doing nothing. The man gets out of 
the car, walks all the way out to the 
farmer and asks him, "Excuse me
mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win 
a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well...I heard they give the Nobel 
Prize to people who are out standing 
in their field."


*Please see "comments"
for additional pertinent
& germane information.

+++

If you stop believing what your professor told you had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself you may come to some conclusions you hadn't expected. You may find the Bible makes more sense than you thought or were told to think. Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard to what you always thought could be true. Can you believe what you don't understand? You and I believe everyday what we don't understand unless it comes to the issue of salvation. - - - Dr. Woodrow Kroll

===============

There is simply no historic foundation for the position that the Framers intended to build the 'wall of separation' that was constitutionalized in Everson. The 'wall of separation be- tween church and state' is a metaphor based on bad history, a metaphor which has proved useless as a guide to judging. It should be frankly and explicitly abandoned. - - - Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, William Rehnquist

===============

In 1796 the US Supreme Court issued this ruling, "By our form of government, the Christian religion is the established religion, and all sects and denominations of Christians are placed on equal footing." Some 57 years later, after Congress was petitioned to separate Christian principles from government, in 1853 the House Judiciary Committee issued their formal report, including these words: "In this age there is no substitute for Christianity. This was the religion of the founders of the republic, and they expected it to be the religion of their dependents. The great vital, conservative elements in our system is the belief of our people in the pure doctrines and divine truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ." - - - Dr. Gerald Beavan

===============

Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in money and you may have it taken from you; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity.           - D.L. Moody

===============

Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment; trust in money and you may have it taken from you; but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in time or eternity.           - D.L. Moody

===============

Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds. Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies into which they never enter and with their hand on the door latch they die outside. - GK Chesterton

===============

Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) Senate Dinosaurs
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.

UNC Band!

A drummer in the UNC marching 
band, tired from being ridiculed 
by his peers, decides to learn 
how to play some "real" musical 
instruments. He goes to a music
store, walks in, approaches the 
store clerk, and says "I'll take 
that red trumpet over there 
and that accordion." 

The store clerk looks at him 
a bit funny, and replies "OK,
you can have the fire 
extinguisher but the
radiator's got to stay".

+++

*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel 
Hill. Specializing in a wide range of degree programs 
including: B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), 
A.P.E., N.U.T., B.R.C. (Bar Room Conversations), etc. 
Institution was founded in 1898 for sons/daughters of 
local Chapel Still politicians that were unable to qualify 
for the more prestigious institutions of higher learning 
such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

===============

Why Am I Here:

Click Here

===============

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,
all 230 Countries, 7 Continents, Oxford, Cambridge,
every Ivy League School & all major American
Universities including UNC!!!

===============

The Roman emperor Diocletian, following an edict 
in 303 A.D., failed to stamp the Bible out. The French 
Revolution could not crush it with secular philosophy 
(Rousseau, one of its heroes, converted to Christianity). 
The Communists failed to stamp it out with atheism 
and political ideology. One might well ask why this 
book has been banned, burned, and bludgeoned with 
such animosity and scorn. The great Reformation hero 
John Calvin responds in this way: "Whenever people 
slander God's word. they show they feel within its power, 
however unwillingly or reluctantly." - Joe Boot

===============

To find out how you can begin a personal
relationship with Jesus Christ, please call:

1-888-NEED HIM.

===============

Click Here
Click Here


Wist u dat de God van u houdt?
Avez-vous su que Dieu vous aime ?
Wußten Sie, daß Gott Sie liebt?
Avete saputo che il dio li ama?
Você soube que o deus o ama?
¿Usted sabía que el dios le ama?


Click Here
Click Here

===============

Your very own library

Click Here

(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')
===============

Dr. Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

UNC Prof Rescue!

The Coast Guard was called out 
to rescue a small sailboat in
trouble off the North Carolina 
Coast. 

The rescue boat called the 
foundering vessel on the 
radio to get the its location:

"What is your position? 
Repeat, what is your position?"

And the reply came back, 
"My position? I'm Professor 
of English at UNC."

Making Kool-Aid!

Why won't UNC students make 
Kool-Aid?

Because they can't figure out how 
to get a quart of water into that
little package.

Google: T3H7P12H

or #ProfHowdy

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Top 10 UNC Inventions!

UNC Prof

1. Waterproof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat on a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Eskimo solar powered freezer

Google: T3H7P12H

or #ProfHowdy

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UNC Class!

Professor Howdy - final exam in undergraduate

school at UNC in 1998...

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or #ProfHowdy

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Search For #ProfHowdy! ♥♥♥

Google Search Results! 

Google Video Search! 

Google Image! 

Yahoo Search! 

Yahoo Images!

Yahoo Videos!

Bing Search! 

Bing Image! 

Bing Video!


Now Repeat Process Above by Substituting: 

 T3H7P12H for #ProfHowdy for each Search!

(NOTE: Searches vary daily. Thousands upon thousands of results. Specializing in Humor, Music Videos, Cartoons, etc. Reposted by others ALL over the world. Posted on Blogger, Tumblr, YouTube, FaceBook, etc for your enjoyment 24/7!)

Two UNC Students!

Two UNC students are walking 
down different ends of a street 
toward each other, and one is 
carrying a sack. When they meet, 
one says,"Hey Tommy Ray,
what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens."

"If I guesses how many they 
are, can I have one?"

"Shoot, ya guesses right and 
I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"

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or #ProfHowdy

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UNC Wedding!

A UNC* student was attending 
his first wedding. After the service, 
his cousin asks him: "How many 
women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen!" replies the UNC student.

His cousin laughed and asked how 
he knew this.

"Easy," the student said. "All you 
have to do is add it up! 4 better, 
4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer!"

*Please see "comments" for
additional pertinent information.

Google: T3H7P12H

or #ProfHowdy

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UNC Virus Alert!

You have just received the 
UNC* virus. As the school 
don't have any technology 
or programming experience, 
this virus works on the honor 
system.

Please delete all the files from 
your hard drive and manually 
forward this virus to everyone 
on your mailing list.

Thank you for your cooperation.

UNC Computer Department


*Please see "comments" for
additional pertinent & germaneinformation.